A guide to Norwegian cities
- Drammen: There's a river. People like this river. A place you drive past. Harry-byen. Also, you WILL have to eat a raw animal heart.
- Tønsberg: the bus WILL be late. You can also see the sign "Roar i Bua" disappear every summer, and then be found at the end of summer (WILL be a story in the newspapers)
- Arendal: small town big city feeling, everyone owns a boat and pretends to be richer than people from Grimstad
- Kristiansund: No, you don't want to go there unless you want to be scared shitless by the locals. THEY STARE.
- Stavanger: 5 metres between you and an engineer and/or an incredibly cheesy person
- Randaberg: their claim to fame is that they produce 80% of all the parsley in the country
- Lier: peasants hiding the fact that they're peasants with expensive clothes
- Nittedal: Alf Prøysen. That's it.
- Bergen: rain, rain and oh yes; more rain. If there's sun in Bergen, you're probably not in Bergen after all.
- Haugesund: rich and narrow-minded shits
- Trondheim: you haven't experienced the city unless you are a student or have been hit by a bus/cyclist. Moustaches everywhere.
- Harstad: there's the Adolf Canon that you can visit and a badass viking museum. that's about it.
- Hitra: our pets are deers and seagulls. You are a freak if you don't like salmon.
- Gjerdrum: A little hole with nothing but bitches and cows.
- Levanger: nothingness in the middle of nowhere
- Bærum: rich people who probably own you and your family. Nobody likes people from Bærum
- Bardufoss: be sure to have lots of alcohol with you to prevent death from boredom and isolation of society.
- Oslo: home of the king and queen, everything is ridiculously expensive. Every other person is an immigrant.
- Kristiansand: bible-belt. Everyone knows everyone. Also, there is a zoo
- Ålesund: people who brag a lot, fish and bunad silver
- Alta: cool city (not really shhhh)
- Rygge: When the awful Mosse-smell is gone we can finally live a normal life
- Narvik: where a headband is called a headliner
- Sandefjord: there are five 13 year olds smoking. Other than that it's a city filled with old people. And there's a whaling monument
- Vikersund: It isn't really a city, but it you get to see crazy people jump 250 meters down a hill every other year
